Field trip tomorrow which ultra sadly clashes with bro's POP. x( you have no idea how sian I am. Hungry because I ate 1 toast 1 pau 1 mini-bun today, and throw in other liquids like milk applejuice water... There you have it, my source of energy for the day. So now I'm eating dried fruits to satisfy the hunger pangs.. :D

Several issues have been bothering me lately, and the best part of all these is that I don't want to make it publicly known. I miss the bear who's probably having the whale of a time at NZ right now.... And I wonder how b.b is doing since I have yet to hear from her at all. As much as I do hate to admit, I end up missing people I should not be. Damn.

I need God. I need directions, guidance, words of wisdom. I realize that different people have different definitions of love, and romantic love at that. Some consider it a process of need-fulfillment, some take it to be what life is for, some feel that it is a redundant existence on this earth. We fail to realize that the it is a mix-and-match session of definitions, feelings, characters. But God is love, and He will provide for all that is to be.

I need support, soothing words, assuring hugs. I realize that life doesn't make sense most of the time, so it is pretty ironical to be using the term common sense. I make promises to myself, but someone tells me that promises are meant to be broken. Rules and regulations implemented long ago with the modern intention of it being bent. We eat only to get hungry again. Many of us work without having a goal in mind- Why are we doing what we are doing?

As much as I am being incoherent, and confusing even myself at points in time, that is really how the state of my mind is in. It is confused, conflicting- insistent, persistent. Domineering? Maybe. Why put up a fight within organs of the same body? Why ask all these weird questions? Why is the sky blue? Genesis. In the beginning, God made it so.

Sometimes I wish I can truly be truthful to the truth. But we all know that many truths hurt, just as how cruel the world may be. We have a choice of interpreting facts, interpreting it positively yet being a victim of one's own optimism. How sane is that? Luke 11:9. Seek and you will find. Why, if you are curious then you will learn to ask. Then again, the one asked may not even be willing to open-

It is getting draggy and dry, maybe even boring or confusing. Ask yourselves some of the more prominent questions. Ask why, Why. Oh it's YI WAN KEK's birthday today too, happy birthday dear hungry-must-eat-now panda! May you have sufficient annual leaves to last your semester of 'weather good, too nice so must sleep' so that you won't incur a deficit in the attendance records. Eyelids closing now, so it signals a time to go off. Some photos for those who cheat and scroll all the way down- May you not find meaning in doing this anymore. tc n tata~

Romans 12:12. cloud strife <3>

Dear KangKong has grown up some more hasn't she! :D

And that I'm missing lotsa people. Please arrange/organize December outings aye, Christmas is a good reason to meet up and celebrate! Maybe I'll get to it if I find the time, sleeping is made easy these days when you lie down and KO.

Ok, back to doing CSIT report. tc n tata~

Post to be updated...... soon? or maybe not. Haha. tc n tata~

In any case, it's none other than another case of piling issues. Usually, a single issue isn't too much to handle but when things increase and at complicatedness too, it takes more toll than I want it to.. So there you have it, a sad me.

Part one is made up of mostly disappointed feelings. Admittedly I had much hope but for things to turn out this way. It's mostly disappointment, and also.. confusion? I just don't get how these mentalities work, they seriously don't make sense to me. Is it the single-minded thinking? The selfishness? Ultimately, is it the truth? I hope for nothing but it to be resolved in the way I hope but we all know that that is difficult to achieve. How often can one have things his way?

Part two is linked around a subject which well.. Should be obvious enough to the observant or the understanding. You can say it involves trust issues as well, along with many other unknowns though. Anyway being careful just isn't enough, some things are inevitable I guess.

-

That was supposedly yesterday's post. As you can see, it's not really done (because I fell asleep halfway and as usual, woke up fuzzy-minded in the middle of the night at 3+am). Ok technically, it's the day before yesterday's post since it's technically 7 November now. Happy that mummy liked the prezzie I got for her, and she was surprised by bro's text message! Not that I was really surprised, but more of proud feelings that he made the effort :D Thank God everything's going smoothly so far for her and I sure hope she doesn't have too tough a life ahead. I am going to do my part as a filial daughter aye :D

As Weiling aptly summed it up the other day, there's just insufficient time to sort out one's life... and as PC aptly put it, there are just so many things in the mind and everything's kinda in a cluttered mess. That is how the recent days have been and the ailing memory is just not going away... Tian Ah. My assignments... (Plentiful) Research to-be-done... Ah. Talk about time management man. At least tomorrow is breather-day! :D I think I should allocate a breather-day at least weekly hmm....

... I got distracted from the post yet again. Anyway, I've realized that my class is getting increasingly vocal.. And well, that is a good sign :D Beats having a dead class with no response haha. Managed to talk with most of the class already but hmm a few more to go.. It really takes 2 hands to clap so yeah. We'll see how it goes huh.

On other random notes, I really appreciate how people take into consideration the fact that I'm a prepaid user. Stuff like "Don't reply unless xxxx" after the content in the message, it really makes a difference. The reverse holds true too though, it can get a little annoying how people send you one-liners one after another, seemingly expecting you to do the same. What was the other random note I wanted to mention hmm....

Ohohoh I remember now, the Monday kidz are really cute! :D Beginning to understand that feeling now, and it is true I guess. As a junior, the focus is more on the experience but as a senior, the focus shifts and splits such that the kidz become a part of it too. I don't think it's just me though~ Kidz will be kidz and well, babies sound kinda off don't you think? =x Aye and snig told me to go sleep when I'm tired. Shall be a good girl and be off now, tc n tata~

That is not the crux of the unhappiness, but I shall give it a miss ranting out here. Although the initial news caused me an utter state of confusion for 1 entire lecture which I am upset about as well. For a lor-sor lecturer and slides that are not all comprehensible on their own and me who couldn't catch a lot of information with all that distraction and others who didn't pay attention as well. Damn.

Somehow realized that today might actually be the break-up anniversary, but the 'might' suggests that I don't remember very clearly as well.. And the only reason I'm mentioning this is because it might actually help to console me that today is just a bad day for that. Tried to do the things that make me happy but alas... Not working at all. Over issues that I have no control over but responsibilities being the link, it may not seem coherent and even unsensible to the uninformed.

Don't feel like doing anything at all, at all.. In short and simple terms, no mood. Alas, the world outside still revolves regardless of a single soul's emotions. Of course it doesn't help to be like this, isn't that apparent enough. So stop telling me what I already know because it's not gona help. It can be frustrating. So just.

Nobody's there. tc n tata~

1. Superwoman

2. Care Group Rep?

3. School

4. Songs!

5. Ahead

1. Superwoman

And who might this precious person be...~ I'm sure some of you people among the audience should be able to guess already xD Anyway, it started with medical issues, then a spoilt iron and a shortened wire resulting in a fixed iron! I'm really amazed, and I really thank God for it too. It's like a testimony for the medical stuffs and also for the belief. Those who were with me last night should have been able to sense some distress over that piece of metal, and alas~ All's well ends well? Ok maybe not just yet, but it definitely is a good start. Ah and before I forget to disclose the identity, she's none other than my mummy :D

2. Care Group Rep?

Well as (loyal) readers, you Should know that I was the class representative last semester. Last semester. As I thought it was a matter of the past considering where we are on the calendar now, I was quite wrong, yet not completely so... Despite tutorial classes changing, guess what. Care group representatives are 1.1 / 2.1 / 3.1 's class representatives. Not like it really mattered actually, until this assignment came along. Last minutes things are just ... Ah.

Nonetheless, I did feel like it was a sudden additional burden. Like totally sudden -_- I mean, who would have expected for ex-class representatives to be doing the current semester's job..? So after loads of whining away *guilty* I found a bright side to it! It does give me a certain sense of... I don't know, happiness? To be seeing my old classmates, wave to them, get money from them, give the tickets to them, ask them how's school so far... It's kinda warm, don't you think? :D It's not that bad a job after all hahahaha. Then again, I realized something else. That nothing can change the fact that I was class representative for 2.1 of our class, and hey~ Let's go play at the beach one day after school yeah! ^___^

3. School

Well what can I say... Schooling at Sentosa? The journey there is less pleasant compared to travelling to TP, though more convenient for taking a nap xD So far I prefer TP's lecture halls.. In fact I kinda miss them =x I don't really care about coziness during lectures man. Though tutorial classroom experience has to wait till next week that is~ Ah and the canteen. Well, "canteen" that comprises of 1 slightly overpriced stall... What to expect though, it IS Sentosa after all. Nothing comes cheap. I can also assure you that approximately 8 hours worth of lectures in a day is no joke as well.

4. Songs!

I almost forgot about this one xD Let's see, the recent song that's keeping me happy.. is by Colbie Caillat. It started with Fallin' For You, then Realize and Bubbly. The former(est) is still my favourite among the others though :D Think it's the melody~~ The lyrics are, however, not related to anything that's happening in my current life though. That I assure you xD Once again, it's just the melody~~ It's somehow a happy song to me, well not that I've specifically read the lyrics but ah heck. You can try it if you haven't! xD

5. Ahead

Ok as always, what's the upcoming stuff for jt hmm... Spooktacular tomorrow followed by more bonding, and more schooldays ahead... Man. I have yet to digest all the assignments but as soon as I do, I'll be updating the Homework list on the right! Oops and I left this tab open here for quite awhile already, it's like 0021h now =x Rostering is pretty fun aye haha! And I guess with that I better be ending the post hmm.. Oh one last thing, it does help to have the agenda at the top =x Less memory failing yeah haha! Okok tc n tata~